There is a place I can go
To make peace with myself
Where the monsters inside are quiet
And the sun reflects pink
And purple and orange on all of God’s creation
I walk quietly on soft ground
Pine needles silencing my footsteps
Sun streaming through the tall trees
I wonder about God and life
Death and everything in between
I am comforted by my smallness and yet
The impact of my life so profound
For these small people
The ones at my doorstep
Pounding on my door
Knocking down the walls of my heart
The ones pushing through and up around me
Aching to get in, on top, inside me
Crawling in my hair and
All at once
I want them as close as possible and also
Crave the space of aloneness
Solitude an elusive friend
Like a secret lover
I sneak moments with—
Exhilarated
And riddled with guilt.
We find moments together
Beneath the pines
In the shadow of the great mountain and
At the water’s edge
I cherish you
And also the small people
Tugging at my sleeves.
I cherish it all
Like holy breath
Here for a moment
Life giving
And then gone.